Small child

Mom, dad, look at your child with love!

Mom, dad, look at your child with love!

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Eyes are the mirror of the soul.

It makes sense. You can't fool the look - it says it all.

You can control your mouth movements, facial expressions, but just look into the eyes to intuitively guess what we feel. This look allows us to keep in touch with another person, understand their intentions and what he really says to us. It is 100 times more important than words.

It also determines the strength of contact and closeness. Lovers stare into their eyes for hours, strangers only allow themselves for a moment, and longer gazing is perceived as familiarity or a sign of aggression. How does this relate to contact with the child?

When a child is a newborn baby, we look forward to moments when he wakes up. We absorb every particle of it. We love the blue eyes. We stare and admire the hazy look, as if time has stopped.

The older the child is, the weirdly lose the ability to look and begin to notice that we don't have time for this ... The role turns away, the child begins to fight for our gaze, does everything to attract attention.

Instead of looking deep into the eyes, all too often we look as if we haven't seen we pierce them with a look, but we do not give positive energy. We see uncombed hair, an unbuttoned sweater, a dirty nose. We focus on tasks - faster, not now, wait a moment. And sometimes on the flaws - we see a mess, a person who behaves loudly, falls into hysteria, does not listen. There is no time for a calm look straight in the face, deep in the eyes - without words, but with this familiar flash that sends a signal like nothing else: I love you and who ... calms down and at the same time adds energy.

The child sees itself as you see it

And here comes the time for an examination of conscience. Parent confession and a moment for reflection. How do I look at my child today? With love or impatience?

What contact does the child experience from me most often? Chastising, warning, alarming or full of love? Do I give as much eye contact as I need? Do I look from behind a computer or newspaper when I am forced to do it by a toddler or do I smile to see how great he is having fun?

Self-fulfilling prophecy

We must learn to look at children again. Stop seeing them as "difficult individuals", which make us lack the strength and time, and start to see a challenge that allows us to change and improve as parents.

It all starts with a look. It sends signals to the brain, and from there they go to the language. Therefore, by learning to look at a child with love, we begin to think differently about the child and then talk about him.

If we speak differently, the child will think differently about himself. In this way we change our children. It's much simpler than complaining. And more difficult at the same time.

Look is time

We do not have time. For myself, for friends, for the family.

Children sense it and fight. They fight for our attention. They do it as they can. They quickly notice that it pays to be "rude" rather than unnoticed "polite". Therefore, at first intuitively, and then with full awareness of the negative consequences of their actions, they force us to react. They want to be noticed. The smaller they are, the more dramatically they fight for it. They know that a parent's look is their only chance to survive. Without a watchful eye, mom or dad ... cannot exist.

We talk too much, we look too little

We don't have time or energy to stop for a moment and look at the child. Give all attention and precious moments that everyone has for a cure. Without staring at the phone, cell phone, book, doing multitasking, I do several things at once.

We do not watch how the child plays, laughs, draws and looks up from the paper every now and then to see if we are still there or if we see them. Over time, looking for our gaze by a child is not enough, because we cannot see. The toddler screams: "Mom, Dad, look", "Look, Mom", "Dad, look what I drew", "Mom, look how high I jump". And he is doing new things so that we can finally look.

When he finally gets what he wants ... something strange happens.

A child hungry for eye contact will be initially embarrassed, he may start to show off, behave strangely, but then he will receive our 100% attention with great respect and ... gratitude. He will check from time to time whether we really are just for him, and when he is sure he is, he will be clearly pleased.

It's like disease prevention. Investment in good behavior.

Instead of pouring streams of words, shouting, punishing, saying things that nobody listens to ... Instead of wasting time on a meaningless message ... let's look at your child ... with love!


  1. Adwin

    Between us, they asked me for the assistance of a moderator.

  2. Gara

    In my opinion, this is obvious. I recommend looking for the answer to your question on

  3. Pekka

    It's a great idea and on time

  4. Yojin

    However, the author has correctly created!

  5. Darby

    Dedicated to everyone who expected good quality.

  6. Gare

    Will there be a sequel?

  7. Dela Eden

    not too long!

  8. Kajitaur

    can here the error?

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