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Requirements are not bad
The requirements placed on the child are not bad. On the contrary, they are an expression of love and readiness to help the child. It is something else support of a loving parentwho sees potential in a daughter or son and helps develop talents, with the child's joy and readiness, which is different forcing a child to do something that it is not ready for. Other effects are created by creating opportunities when a toddler can feel satisfaction and praise himself by building a healthy sense of value. It brings quite different results criticizing and emphasizing at every step that a few years old did not give his best and again proved to be "too weak".
It is worth teaching a child what he is commitment, consistent pursuit of the goal, not giving up, diligent action to achieve the goal. However, you need to know when pursuing a goal crosses "healthy" boundaries and becomes an absurd fight that no one can win. Therefore, the parent must be very attentive to the signals sent by the child.
A toddler who lives under enormous pressure gives clear signals that he is feeling unwell in the system that has been imposed on him: he becomes withdrawn, nervous, sad, ceases to believe in his abilities depending on his temperament - or he is very submissive, distant and as if absent during everyday activities or he rebels and refuses to cooperate.
Too demanding parents do not accept their child
Too demanding parents do not accept their child, they do not love him as he is. He strives to create from his daughter or son the "perfect version of a child" he has in his head. The child feels it and lives under enormous pressure. Unconditional love is necessary for him to develop properly, and he does not receive this basic value from his own parents.
An overly demanding parent cannot separate "bad behavior" from the child's core personality. He believes that difficult behavior is only a "guilt" of a malicious temperament that must be tempered. He lacks tenderness in dealing with the child, leaving no room for negotiation. He believes that he should be in every situation as he says, no different. As the child grows, it does not give him a chance for the greater independence that the child needs to grow like air.
I'm never good enough
Every child wants to be liked and accepted by the parent. He will stand on his eyelashes to please his mother or dad. He will do a lot to be appreciated, praised, to feel that it met the requirements of mom or dad. Unfortunately, if parents demand too much from the child, the toddler can do a lot, and he will not be able to "satisfy a demanding parent". Preschooler can try, "schoolboy" sweat hard to work for success, however, when the crossbar is set too high, there is no chance to jump over it from the start.
Then the famous words fall: "4 with a plus? Why not five? "Or" Patrycja tried hard and was able to prepare a really nice artwork. Take her example. " You don't have to wait long for the effects of these types of comments. The child changes from cheerful to frustrated, because despite his efforts, it has not been possible to achieve enough to deserve praise. In addition, the comparison to a friend (sometimes siblings!) From the machine raises unpleasant feelings towards the person who deserved recognition. There is a spirit of envy and unhealthy competition. The child sees that he is not doing well enough. He begins to believe that he knows little and is unable to change it. He loses faith in himself, becomes fearful and alienated.
If the parent believes that the child is weak, then he becomes so. When mom or dad say that a son or daughter is useless, they take it for granted and fall into the abyss of despair. They deal worse with everyday challenges.
The child of too demanding parents loses the joy of being active
Children are naturally curious about the world, active and ready to face what fate brings them.
A child who is raised by too demanding parents with time he loses the enthusiasm, energy and enthusiasm typical of his peers. Perhaps he will decide what is expected of him, but he performs the actions without conviction, as if as a punishment, hesitates, is sad and introverted. He does not believe that it is worth undertaking the effort, because the effect may not be satisfactory. A child of too demanding parents he is afraid of confronting difficulties, as he is afraid of failure and experiences it very strongly. He is convinced that he himself is guilty of having failed. Rarely indicates adverse external conditions that may have been the reason for the difficulties.
He has trouble dealing with his peers
The child is too demanding parents uncertain when dealing with peers, unstable, his reactions are inadequate to the situation. He is very afraid of rejection, as waters want acceptance, but he is so determined in his actions that his peers subconsciously sense the problem and often distance themselves. It also happens that the child takes a submissive attitude, and as a consequence is abused, his friends treat them like a scapegoat who will not react when someone imposes their opinion on him.
Are you too demanding parent?
Too high requirements are not good. It is worth to stay away from them. Unfortunately, this is not easy, because we often unknowingly duplicate the way we keep our parents, which as children we honestly hated. It is important to visualize certain mechanisms that guide us and try to free us from them. How?