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We need to talk about Kevin

We need to talk about Kevin

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There is something disturbing in the condition we call motherhood. Nature has defined the role for newborn girls in the future, who are to pass their genes on to future generations. While from a biological point of view, almost all of us are ready to become a mother, we do not fully admit to our consciousness that this is an obviousness that must be accepted. Moved by the creation of Tilda Swilton in a strong film about unwanted motherhood, I will try to raise this controversial topic and provoke readers to a turbulent conversation.

Let's try to discuss being a mother

In society, the myth of the Polish Mother, home office, a multifunctional robot who should be proud of the function imposed on him still maintains a strong position. More and more of us shyly publish anonymous entries on the Internet, which show that she can not find herself in the role of a domestic woman whose life revolves around diapers, poop, soups, school layettes and dealing with the snout shoot. Although there are brave participants, manifesting their anti-family views in the press and television, there are still people who are trying to suppress, silence, direct them to another - "correct" track, the so-called defenders of female duty. So is there any point in throwing down the glove and fighting for your own opinion, for the right not to be a mother? Let's try to talk about it ...

Child? No thanks

The life of the main heroine of the film is divided into time before and after the birth of her son. Eva's greatest passion was traveling. The opportunity to explore interesting places, communing with different cultures, learning the secrets of the world around her made her a happy woman. This image of idyllic happiness was complemented by a loving husband who shared her interests and a satisfying job in a high position. Independence, the ability to decide about your life meant that the real shock for a woman turned out to be information about pregnancy, which she accidentally happened. The fruit of the love of two spouses was expected only by the future father of the child. The fetus developing under Eva's heart made her uneasy, she felt a sense of security. This fear was only a foretaste of the events that turned the ordered character's world upside down. But there was no turning back from that. The handle has fallen down.

Two sides of the coin

Here a boy was born who decided to make his mother's life miserable. Although the viewer may assume that Kevin is an autistic child, requiring special care, he is actually an intelligent, unscrupulous bastard who will murder his family members in cold blood, just because they formed a harmonious unity from which he stood out.

The boy's father sees nothing disturbing in Kevin's behavior. The fact that a few-year-old does not speak, does not use the toilet, but forces his mother to change diapers, he does not treat as a reason to worry. For him, Kevin is simply a child that requires more patience and attention.

Eva gave up an interesting job for her firstborn. She locked herself in the house and gave her to motherhood. She bit her tongue during subsequent setbacks and tried to teach her son independence at all costs. However, he felt pleasure when he hurt his mother when he was playing on her nerves. Calm, forgiving Eva finally loses her patience and, by force, manages to achieve amazing results. Although she has great remorse, she notes that her child has finally got something. However, even a small improvement, another success is only temporary, because Kevin, like a flag in the wind, changes her attitude towards her parent, whom she once treats as a guardian necessary for life, and sometimes as an enemy.
Only a mother is a witness to all her son's evil deeds. She knows who contributed to the mutilation of the second child, she lives in guilt that she gave birth and raised a monster through which eternal damnation awaits her.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire

Eva's life is like a roller coaster. There are many ups and downs in it. The second pregnancy turns out to be a breakthrough, which she hides from her husband for as long as possible. When Celia comes into the world, she turns out to be the complete opposite of her wayward brother. He is a real angel. Kevin immediately senses the competition and the threat from the girl. From then on, jealousy would grow so sick and irrational that it would lead him to a tragedy that would go beyond the four walls of their home.

Although the second child pleasantly disappointed the heroine and became a reward for all the efforts associated with raising Kevin, at the same time contributed to the disaster. However, Eva does not blame anyone. He humbly accepts all failures and lives on because he knows he must.

Mother's love

Apparently, he loves unconditionally and there is no reason to love. What is the phenomenon of motherly feelings? Is it born at the moment of conception, at the moment of sensing the first movements of the child, with the arrival of the screaming toddler, or maybe long before the test shows two lines indicating pregnancy? Or maybe you need to learn to love a child? Maybe just as in the case of experience acquired with age?

I wonder how you can love a monster who lived in a woman for almost a year and then took away all the meaning of her life? The heroine of the film found herself in this situation ...

Her relationship with her son resembles a very toxic relationship, the fight for exclusivity, interest and boundless devotion.

It cannot be clearly determined whether Kevin was born angry or whether his character was shaped by the influence of his mother who blamed him for the disorganization of his life. It is only certain that they both have a special bond that prevents them from functioning without each other, which makes them one.

Perhaps Kevin is the personification of all dark Eva views. Even if our heroine wants something, and she knows that it is inappropriate, her son comes into action and does just that. He recites her innermost thoughts for her, he accurately sums up the relationships between them. His honesty is controversial in his mother, but he is so real that he must be spoken out loud.

Does a mother's love for a child have any limits? Can we take responsibility for the actions of the person we brought up? Should we feel guilty about our child's crime? After all, he is an independent man who uses his own reason and who should know the code of basic values ​​and norms that apply in the society in which he operates.
When Eva's son played Robin Hood, she sacrificed everything home, work, good name so that the trial against Kevin would be a compensation for the victims of the tragedy. She humbly wiped the paint off her car body, took the cheek measured by her mother murdered by her daughter. She felt complicit in the fact that a sick, possessive boy who needed help appeared in the world.

Being a woman = being a mother?

I admire women who claim that they have never doubted that they will prove themselves as a mother. Those who never regretted their lives changed drastically when they gave birth to their offspring. I feel respect for representatives of my sex who do not treat a child like someone who forced them to give up their dreams or plans temporarily or completely. I bow my head to mothers for whom motherhood is the greatest gift of fate, the possibility of realizing myself on a different plane, in a role that helps achieve fulfillment and gives incredible satisfaction. But at the same time I sympathize with those who cannot reconcile the new obligations with the current ones. I understand with comprehension the women whose life verified the idea of ​​motherhood. And it does not matter to me whether you became a mother due to a prank of fate, accident at work, too carefree moment of elation or for years waited for the desired positive result of the pregnancy test.

Just because we don't understand our own child doesn't make us mothers. The fact that a woman has been fitted with a womb does not mean that each of us should experience the miracle of the birth of her offspring. Let us not be guilty if we do not feel strong enough for someone to say "mom" to us ...

Eva's biggest mistake in life - her son Kevin one day razed her almost perfect world, deprived her of the life she was pleased with, the family she loved and the dignity that was forever tainted. In her case, being a mother meant not so much the acceptance of the state she was in, but simply getting used to something she couldn't even like.

With Ezra Miller in my eyes who plays the role of a juvenile murderer, I'm afraid to think about what I would do in the place of the main character. Could I live with the knowledge that my child murdered other family members and what would be my attitude towards him ...