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How many times have you felt your son challenge you or try to impose his criteria? In the end, more than a negotiation, it ends up becoming a struggle for power. And you end up puzzled because you don't know if you are doing it right or should you give in to their wishes.
Finding the balance between the limits you have to set and your child being autonomous is difficult. Therefore, in Guiainfantil.com We give you some simple requirements to help you deciding when is the right time to give in.
- You must be in tune with your partner: Even if you have a different way of being or seeing education, there are basic pillars you have to talk about. So if you want to give in with your one child, first you will have to learn to do it with your partner and reach agreements. It is a requirement that many times in the maelstrom of the day to day we skip and take it for granted, but you will realize that it is easier to negotiate when you are clear about the limits.
- Not everything can be negotiated: If you establish rules and limits it is because you have a reason to do so: for safety, for aesthetics, for health, for teaching values…. However, there are rules that over time have to be adapted to their age. For example: the time of departure or the clothes to be put on. It is important that you choose what your priorities are going to be and what limits you are willing to give up. Little by little, leave it autonomy in simple things: do you want to wear the brown or the white bear? Perhaps they are things that are not so important at first glance, but with that simple question you are guiding them to have an answer. So the question now would be which ones are you willing to delegate to your child?
- To give in, you need to be calm. The best thing to do is to be able to negotiate at a time when the two of you have time to talk and are calm. On many occasions, it is just the opposite, there is never time, the mobile phone always gets in the way and you or your child end up angry or yelling. Negotiating in the middle of a tantrum or when we are distracted is one of the most common mistakes that are usually made, so it is best to avoid those moments for negotiation and simply accompany him until the environment is calmer because otherwise, he will think that getting angry can get everything you want.
- Your child has to listen to you and respect you, but so do you: Respect is essential, but many times we forget that respect not only involves not insulting or yelling at your child, but also by not interrupting and listening to their arguments. Many times you say “no” without having listened to everything your child had to say to you and even if you are clear that you are not going to do it, at least we all deserve to feel the feeling that we have tried. So instead of being blunt from the beginning, listen to the explanations he has to give you. In this way, you will teach him to defend his position and have an opinion of his own.
You can read more articles similar to When should we give in to children, in the category of On-site Education.