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Often, a change in behavior occurs overnight. A child who has not had a problem with sharing so far suddenly notices the meaning of the word "mine" and refuses to "borrow" their items to other children. Contrary to what one thinks, it has little to do with "only individuality."
Two-year-old: a breakthrough
A child of about two years begins to understand that the objects are divided into "his" and "someone else's." Of course, he wants everything to be his property and remain accessible to him, but he slowly realizes that this is impossible.
He often shows over the following months your autonomy. He doesn't want to share because he wants to show that the item belongs to him. At the same time, he checks how much he can afford in this subject. Of course not from malice, but from curiosity and inner need.
Willingness to cooperate usually appears around the age of three, when a child notices the benefits of sharing and the pleasure of sharing their own things with others.
The above process may differ in each of the children. Some kids learn the idea of sharing imperceptibly, others very clearly emphasize ownership and defend "their interests". And it is this second group that helps most.
Have fun exchanging
The best way to learn is fun. That's why it's worth everyday with your child find a moment to have fun exchanging. It is very easy. We hug the teddy bear, kiss, give back to the child and in a moment ask for a toy. Let's also exchange other items. When arranging blocks, let's do it for a change: once mom or dad, once a child. Let the tower come into being together. Similar rules should be introduced when placing puzzles or other everyday games.
Ask for permission
Every child should have the ability to say no. Before the second toddler reaches for his toys, it is necessary to ensure that our child can allow it or not agree. Forcing to share, follow blackmail, scare is not the best solution.
Do not punish
Do not force your child to share toys. For example, if you are in the sandbox and the other child has no molds, don't feel responsible for his or her well-being. It will be an exaggeration to order that your spatula or pail be given to another child while yours are playing with them.
The toddler has the right to use his own toys. Treating someone else's child better will only result in your daughter's or son's reluctance to voluntarily share toys. The two-year-old will feel uncomfortable when, for unknown reasons, he has to give his own toys to another, often just met toddler. That way, he certainly won't understand why it's worth sharing. He will feel (rightly) cheated.
Punishing for not wanting to share is not a good option. The toddler has the right to keep the toys to himself. Let him bear the consequences of his actions. If he does not "borrow" the mold, do not use toys brought by other children.
Talk about emotions
"I understand that you are sad, that you don't have a teddy bear at the moment, but see how much joy Marysia hugs him."
If the child receives information from the parent that his emotions are natural, fully acceptable, it will be easier for him to face them. An indication of what the other child is feeling at a given moment will also make the toddler sensitive to the needs of others.
You should also be guided in learning to share the principle of small steps. At the beginning, let the child encourage him to touch the bear he holds, then show him for a moment, pulling away from him, then pass him on to the second child for a few seconds, and only then let him hold him longer.
It is worth starting to learn from a toy that the toddler does not care so much for, and only later, when the idea of sharing will be understood by the child, you can try exchanging with toys closer to your heart.
Before the guests come ...
The situation is different when you are expecting someone at home. Before coming with other children, it is worth determining with your daughter or son which toys children can play with. Even before the arrival of guests, it is worth hiding the most valuable ones in a cardboard box for a wardrobe or in another inaccessible place. In this way, we will set the rules together with the toddler, which will allow them to be accepted more easily.
Set a good example
It's worth showing your child in everyday life how to share what we like with others. Sometimes it's good to highlight what we do literally and directly even a little exaggeratedthat your child understands what we mean. For example, you can say: "Look, I really like ice cream, but we'll buy one and share it with you." "I would love to play with it myself, to have the toy only for myself, but it will be more fun when we play together."
In addition, it is worth talking about the art of sharing not only in the context of material things, but also feelings.
Learning to share has a lot to do with learning to wait your turn. About how to teach a child to wait: you can read here.